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For 101 Ways to Say I Love You 23. "I want you, and only you."



The night was busy and Mikkel had gained some regulars, thankfully polite for the most part though one of them routinely kissed his cheek when handing over money that had become a game of Mikkel slipping away before he could. The bar was packed though and tonight there was a lot more than the regulars, most were getting way too drunk which didn’t bode well for how the night would continue. However, tonight he was with Tory on stage. They worked well together, and they had a playful repertoire between the two of them based in trust and being, probably, the sassiest of the girls at this strip club.

They had the people screaming and whistling within moments, two incredibly tall, thin women grinding on a pole and sharing girlish kisses. They did it because it brought tips, lots of tips in a hurry. It was also fun. They would laugh about the expressions they saw after they left the stage and figure out how to make it even more over the top next time. Tory was a friend that Mikkel needed in his life and Tory seemed to need him as well, though Tory didn’t know Mikkel was a boy. It didn’t matter. Mikkel imagined she wouldn’t care even if she knew.

Mikkel loved to dance but with Sigurd around, it wasn’t only Sigurd bothered by the other men’s attention. He came off the stage to sit with Tory and share a soda. They were on stage together at this venue, a lot, because they were opposites. Mikkel pale and blonde while Tory was olive with dark hair; both were tall and slim. He liked Tory and though not much older felt motherly or maybe like an older sister. While they sat there Mikkel noticed quite a few men watching them, talking. He was always wary because he started so early and even here, he was still maintaining lies he knew could be dangerous if the wrong people found out.

“Hey, Mikki, are you alright?” Tory’s concerned voice and gentle hand brought his attention up and he smiled but his eyes hadn’t left the two tables that were watching them.

“I’m ok.” He nodded but his eyes were flickering to the tables so much that Tory glanced over at the lewd looks they were getting. “The staring is starting to bother me.”

Tory nodded and lit up a cigarette while they sat there on break between performances. “I know how it is when you have someone and…” She vaguely motioned toward the crowd before laughing. “We all saw your boyfriend the other night. Damn, he’s hot with that long dark hair.”

Mikkel felt himself blush and there was nothing he could do about it. Sigurd, thinking of him, caused little nervous butterfly feelings inside and even on his skin. “He is, but he’s jealous too of all of the men here.”

The older dancer nodded because she knew what that was like from previous boyfriends she had or with the other girls’ boyfriends. “It takes time for a man to accept other men are looking at us, but it doesn’t mean anything. I’m sure he’ll get better.”

Mikkel nodded and leaned against Tory. “He is, I think. It’s rough.”

Tory smiled. “He’s the first one you’re serious about?”

Mikkel blushed and nodded in return. “He does things to me.”

“I’m sure he does.” Tory laughed so hard she had to set the soda down.

“That... “he smacked her playfully on the arm. “.. well yes but that’s not what I meant.” Mikkel felt his cheeks burning.

“I know what you meant.” She responded, ruffling his hair, and giving him a side hug. “You’re so cute when you blush though. How can I help but tease you a little?”

Mikkel was listening but sucked in a breath when he saw the guys getting up. His instincts told him to run but he didn’t want to be bullied and, in here, security would come if things started happening. Tory squeezed his hand under the table because she wasn’t going to be driven out of the bar either.

“The way you look on stage…” One of the guys touched his hair after they made it to the table. All Mikkel could think of was Sigurd and the fight that would be starting if he was here. As much as the Swede made him feel safe Mikkel is glad he isn’t here. “…Why don’t we walk our way into the back?”

He froze and Tory spoke up. “She has someone AND it isn’t you!” Tory wasn’t going to stand by and let the men harass the youngest of them. Mikkel felt a tug on his hair and bit back the fear that went along with it.

“I don’t see anyone keeping you busy.” The guy leaned in and Mikkel instinctively leaned away toward his friend. “I’ll pay you really good.”

Mikkel acted before he could think and slapped the man right across the face. “I’m not a prostitute, you dumb bastard!”

Anger from how Sigurd had behaved before surged up and as the guy went to say something Mikkel balled his fist up and busted him right in the mouth for whatever was going to come out. Tory gasped and then he heard her giggle beside him as the guy touched his lip.

“I’m a dancer not some fucking whore to use because you can’t get any unless you pay someone for it.” Mikkel was on his feet screaming in the guy’s face and about eight inches taller in the shoes he wore dancing. One of his friends came up and Mikkel turned such a disgusted and furious look on him that he paused. “I have someone, and I don’t want any of you.”

Tory’s hand on his forearm was all that kept him from mouthing off more to the four guys that had approached them. Now, they did head toward the back and Mikkel could feel the guys following. The bouncer at the hall to the dressing room gave Mikkel a gentle pat on the shoulder. It was a cue all the girls knew. It meant he had seen and was watching. The four got stopped and the heated discussion followed by a call to throw them out. Mikkel stepped back into the doorway and gave them two middle fingers as the other security in the bar went to take them away.

However, once in the back he felt the fear sink in. He had lashed out because of past trauma. Sighing, he sat down knowing he had three more performances before he could leave. Mikkel made his way over to his purse and pulled out his phone. He hated doing this, but he needed to text Sigurd.

Hey Daddy! I know you’re on stage, but can you stop by and pick me up on the way back to the hotel? I don’t feel like fucking walking in these heels. I want you, only my dirty daddy. <3

He set the phone aside and went to fix his make up. He would need to go back on stage soon no matter what he was feeling right now.
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Felix Mikkel Soeren

March 2024

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